Toronto's BEST Kept Secret? This Hotel Will SHOCK You!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a review of this hotel, and trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride. Prepare for a review that's less "corporate brochure" and more "your crazy aunt spilling the tea."
First things first: Let's talk accessibility. This is HUGE for a lot of people, and it's damn important. So:
- Wheelchair access: I REALLY hope this is good because I'd hate to be stuck.
- Facilities for disabled guests: This is a must-have.
Internet, Internet, Internet (and the inevitable frustration):
Alright, let's get the digital elephant in the room sorted: Internet. It's 2024, so if a hotel says "internet" and it's slower than a snail on Valium, I'm gonna lose it.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms?: YES! This is a baseline expectation, but a crucial one.
- Internet access [LAN]: For those like me who still like a good LAN connection, that's great.
- Internet services: What does THIS even mean? Hopefully, it means FAST internet.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Again, a must.
- Internet: Okay, we get it. There's Internet. Good.
"Things to Do" and "Ways to Relax" (Or How I Almost Died in the Sauna):
Okay, so this is where things get interesting. I’m a spa kind of gal, but let's be real, I always overdo it.
Body scrub, Body wrap: Fine, I'm a sucker for these. Count me in.
Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I'll think about it. Maybe. After a nap.
Foot bath: Okay, this actually sounds amazing.
Massage: YES, a thousand times YES. Deep tissue, please. My shoulders are begging.
Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Now, THIS is the good stuff. A pool with a view? Heaven. I will happily spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing but staring at the scenery.
Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: Okay, here's my confession. I’m a total sauna addict. But! And this is a BIG BUT… once, I almost passed out in a sauna. I’m talking, eyes rolling back, clutching my chest kind of drama. So, while I love the sauna, I approach it with a healthy dose of respect and now, a bottle of water.
Cleanliness and safety:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good for the soul.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Awesome!
- Hand sanitizer: Good.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Safe dining setup, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, I am reassured. I like that they care.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: I wouldn't opt-out.
- First aid kit, Doctor/nurse on call: Excellent!
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Good.
- Shared stationery removed: I get it.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms: Okay, the whole safety thing—that's reassuring.
Dining, drinking, and snacking:
- Restaurants, Poolside bar, Coffee shop, Snack bar, Bar: I’m here for this!
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: I like the idea of those.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast takeaway service, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Essential.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Bottle of water: Important.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yes. YES. YES!!!
- Room service [24-hour]: screams of joy.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Well, that is convenient.
- Happy hour: Yesss!
- Cashless payment service, Individually-wrapped food options, Essential condiments, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: I love that convenience.
Services and conveniences:
- Air conditioning in public area, Elevator: Nice!
- Business facilities, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meeting stationery, Seminars, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Wi-Fi for special events: So, for the business travelers, this is convenient.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Convenience store, Gift/souvenir shop, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: All the basics.
- Concierge, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service, Daily housekeeping: I love these conveniences.
- Food delivery: Convenient.
- Smoking area: It's good that there is one.
- Terrace: Nice.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Useful.
- Invoice provided: Wonderful.
- On-site event hosting: Very good.
- Outdoor venue for special events, Indoor venue for special events: Well, that's useful
- Projector/LED display: Nice.
For the kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Excellent.
For getting around:
- Airport transfer, Taxi service, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Bicycle parking, Valet parking: Good
In the rooms:
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: I have high expectations for the rooms.
Now, for the "Unique Selling Proposition" (aka, why should you book this hotel?):
Okay, so after sifting through all these features, here's what makes this hotel a potential winner. The combination of spa, restaurant choices, and overall safety measures is appealing. The 24-hour room service and the promise of a pool with a view seal the deal.
My Honest-to-Goodness, Unfiltered Opinion (Because You Deserve It):
Look, I'm not gonna pretend to be objective. I'm looking for a place where I can:
- Get seriously pampered.
- Stuff my face with delicious food (buffets are my weakness).
- Feel safe and secure, not just physically, but emotionally.
This hotel seems to tick all those boxes.
My Recommendation (and a little bit of a sales pitch):
Book this hotel if:
- You need a good night's sleep with a super comfy bed.
- Are looking for a place offering a range of dining options and a spa.
- You want a place that clearly takes your safety and well-being seriously.
A Hotel Offer to book, based on the review:
Escape to Paradise!
Ready for a weekend (or a week!) of pure bliss?
You deserve it! Treat yourself to a stay where your every whim is catered to. Enjoy the peace and quiet of the comfy rooms, or go crazy in the swimming pool. After all that, have an array of tastes in restaurants or go crazy with 24-hour room service! Book now and create memories that will last a lifetime! Don't delay!
Days Inn Mobile I-65: Your Perfect Alabama Getaway Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into my chaotic, possibly ill-advised, Toronto adventure, based at the oh-so-expressive Holiday Inn Express Toronto East - Scarborough. Let the good times… well, let’s hope they’re good times… roll!
Day 1: Arrival & Scarborough Shenanigans… or, “Where’s the Coffee, Sweet Jesus?”
- 1:00 PM - Arrival & Check-In: Landed at Pearson, navigated the usual airport circus (why are exit signs always, always in the most inconvenient places?), and finally, finally, arrived at the promised land of… dun dun dun… the Holiday Inn Express! Honestly, the lobby looked exactly like the picture online, which is a small miracle in itself. Check-in… bless the lady at the front desk. She was super friendly, dealt with my jet lag-induced grumbling about needing immediate caffeine like a pro, and even offered me a cookie! Score one for humanity.
- 1:30 PM - The Room Reveal: Okay, the room… it's… beige. Beige and functional. Clean, which is a win! The bed… surprisingly comfy. Did a dramatic starfish on it just to test its structural integrity. Passed. The view? Well, let's just say it's a masterclass in… parking lot appreciation. But hey, I’m not here for the view, I’m here to, you know, experience Toronto!
- 2:00 PM - Urgent Fuel Acquisition & Scarborough Exploration: The caffeine withdrawal pangs were REAL. Needed coffee STAT! Found a Tim Hortons (of course) down the street. Ordered a double-double… iconic, I know. Fueled up, ready to explore. Thought I'd wander around Scarborough. Got a bit lost. Ended up in a… well, let’s call it an "interesting" strip mall. Found a REALLY good Greek place, though. Moussaka was divine. Made a mental note: "MUST. FIND. THIS. PLACE. AGAIN."
- 6:00 PM - The Dinner Dilemma: Hunger struck again. Thought about venturing out, but the thought of more navigational challenges and potentially awkward interactions with people made me suddenly crave… the hotel. The microwave was essential. I did something super classy and bought a frozen pizza. No regrets.
- 7:30 PM - Hotel TV & Existential Musings: Watched some terrible TV. Thought about life. Wondered if the parking lot view was secretly judging me. Realized I haven't changed out of the travel outfit (jeans, sweater). Decided to embrace the mess. Maybe tomorrow I will be better. Maybe…
Day 2: Downtown Toronto & The Great Streetcar Debacle… or, "Why Is Public Transit So Confusing?!?!"
- 7:00 AM - Breakfast Buffet Bonanza: Ah, the free breakfast! The beacon of hope in a weary traveler's heart! Scrambled eggs? Check. Cereal? Check. Toast? Check. The perfect canvas for… a mountain of butter. I may or may not have eaten seven pieces. Don't judge me.
- 8:00 AM - The Subway Quest (Part 1): Okay, brave face on. Public transit time! Convinced myself I could figure out the Toronto TTC. Downloaded the app. Stared at the map. Got hopelessly, utterly confused. Asked a friendly-looking local for help. She walked me to the station. Bless her heart.
- 9:00 AM - Downtown Doings: Made it Downtown! Took a deep breath. CN Tower was pretty spectacular. Took a million photos. Realized I was standing in front of a HUGE lineup and the tickets were… very expensive. Decided to admire it from the outside instead.
- 10:30 AM - Market Marvels: Stumbled upon St. Lawrence Market. The smells, the sights, the sheer energy of it all! Absolutely loved it! Ate a peameal bacon sandwich that I kept hearing about. Worth the hype. Worth every single delectable bite.
- 12:00 PM - The Streetcar Catastrophe: Okay, maybe "catastrophe" is too strong. But getting back to the hotel… let's just say the streetcar system and I have an… adversarial relationship. Somehow, missed the stop. Ended up miles away from the hotel. Wandered for what felt like hours. Used Google Maps, got into a small fight with google maps. Finally, finally, made it back, slightly defeated but mostly intact.
- 3:00 PM - Post-Streetcar Trauma Recovery: Needed to refuel (sensing a theme?). Pizza again. This time, I ate the frozen pizza in the hotel room.
- 5:00 PM - The Indoor Pool… or, "Can I Remember How to Swim?" Okay, the hotel has an indoor pool! Decided it was a good idea. Reached the pool! It was… fine. Quiet. I may have done some laps of what could barely be called laps. Still, felt good to move, you know? Very therapeutic.
- 7:00 PM - More TV and Existential Dread… Again: Watched more TV. Still haven't changed out of my jeans. Wondered if I should venture out for dinner. Nah. Pizza vibes are strong.
Day 3: Unexpected Adventures & Departure… or, "Toronto, You Crazy Place!"
- 7:00 AM - Breakfast Rerun: Okay, I’ll admit it: the free breakfast is a guilty pleasure. Ate the same again. Added an extra piece of toast this time… for balance.
- 8:00 AM - Scarborough Surprise: Decided to revisit Scarborough. This time, I used google maps (again). Found a charming little park I missed the first time. Walked the trails. It was lovely. Almost made me forget the streetcar incident. Almost.
- 10:00 AM - Unexpected Charm & Shopping Craziness: Wandered into a small, independent bookstore. Found a quirky book on local history. Bought it! Started a conversation with the shop owner. He even gave me some tips on other local spots to try. Made me wish I'd done this earlier in the trip.
- 12:00 PM - Final Meal, Final Pizza?: One last meal before leaving. Almost bought the pizza again. Found a nice Indian place near the hotel that I had overlooked. Chicken Kadai! Heaven.
- 1:00 PM - Packing Panic & Farewell: Okay, the dreaded packing. Realized half my clothes were still in my suitcase. (I told you I was messy.) Threw everything in haphazardly. Said a fond farewell to the parking lot view.
- 2:00 PM - Heading Home and Post-Scarborough Reflections: Loaded up the car. Said goodbye to the front desk lady (who remembered the cookies and asked if I enjoyed my stay). Thought about my Toronto trip on the drive back. It was messy, frustrating, and often hilarious. I got lost. I ate too much pizza. I nearly had a nervous breakdown on the streetcar. But I also saw some amazing things, met some lovely people, and survived! And hey, I got a story out of it. And isn't that what travel is all about? And maybe, just maybe, I'll come back. After I've had a good rest. And figured out the TTC. Maybe.
So, like, what *is* this thing, actually? FAQ, I mean. Because, let's be honest, the internet is full of them.
Ugh, good question. Honestly? I have no clue why *I'm* doing this. It's like, someone said "write some FAQs," and my brain just went, "Okay! But, like, *my* version." Think of it as a bunch of questions people *might* ask, answered by yours truly. Which, let's face it, means it's probably going to be more about me than anything else. Sorry (not sorry).
Okay, fine. But *why* should I even bother reading this particular FAQ? You're not exactly Shakespeare, you know.
Look, I'm not gonna lie. You probably shouldn't. There are a million other FAQs out there, probably way more helpful and informative. But, and this is a big BUT (like, really big, thanks to my love of carbs...), this one *might* be… entertaining? Maybe? If you like rambling, slightly neurotic individuals who overshare and have a penchant for bad puns. If not, feel free to scroll on by. No hard feelings. Really.
What's your favorite color? (And don't you dare say "purple")
Okay, first of all, how did you know I *wanted* to say purple?! Fine, fine. My favorite color is… *checks for judging eyes*… a really deep, almost black navy blue. But like, the navy blue of a perfectly smooth, slightly worn pair of jeans. It just screams comfort and, like, 'I know what I'm doing' (even if I absolutely don't). And yeah, I love purple too, especially that one of those muted lavenders, the kind that looks good in a wine cellar. See what I mean about rambling?
Are you, like, a real person? Or, you know, a robot pretending to be a real person? Because honestly, the lines are getting blurred.
HA! Good one. If I *were* a robot, I'd be the world's WORST robot. I'd probably overheat from analyzing all the things wrong with my life while attempting to answer a simple question. I am, sadly, a real person. Flaws and all. I spill coffee, I forget where I put my keys (always), and I sometimes spend hours scrolling through cat videos when I should be doing *literally anything else*. So, yeah, a real person. Believe it or not.
So, if you're real, what makes you… you? What's your deal? (Besides the obvious rambling, I mean.)
Alright, *that's* a loaded question. Okay, I'm a firm believer in the power of a good nap, the therapeutic qualities of chocolate (dark, always), and the utter necessity of laughing at yourself at least once a day. I'm also, and this is a big one, a champion overthinker! I can analyze a single grocery store aisle for hours and come to no conclusions. I make a mean cup of tea… usually. The biggest thing that I am is a lover of moments. I love that feeling of a cool breeze in the summer time, or when you find a song that you can listen to on repeat. I also love a good story, even if I end up writing one about my experiences in the laundromat washing my blankets. They were *so* soft.
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Oh, *that's* easy. People who chew with their mouths open. And people who leave the microwave running after they take their food out. Seriously, what am I supposed to do with that? It's just evil! Also, when someone touches my food without asking, I'm not gonna lie, it sometimes has me seeing red. I get irrationally angry. My blood pressure jumps. I might just… I don't know, it really riles me up! Actually, I'm getting a little worked up just thinking about it.
If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for? No using them for more wishes, you cheater.
Okay, okay, let's do this. First wish? The ability to instantly understand and speak any language. Imagine that! I could travel the world, talk to anyone, read ancient texts... It'd be amazing. Second wish: To never have to do laundry again. Seriously. I *hate* laundry. I once lost a sock in the dryer, and I'm convinced it's living a life of luxury in a fluff-filled paradise. That sock is living my dream! Finally (and I debated this one HARD), I'd wish for unlimited good health for myself and my loved ones. Because, you know... life is short, and being healthy makes it a whole lot better. Plus, then I could eat MORE chocolate without the guilt! BOOM! Nailed it.
Do you have any embarrassing stories? Because, you know, everyone loves a good cringe moment.
Oh, honey, where do I even BEGIN? I am a walking, talking, cringe-inducing machine. One time, I went on a first date, and I was so nervous, I accidentally spilled an entire glass of red wine down my date's pristine white shirt. I tried to clean it up with a napkin, but it just smeared the stain everywhere. He was so nice about it, but I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. I spent the rest of the date apologizing/sweating profusely. We did not go on a second date. Another time, I tripped and face-planted in front of the entire Starbucks line. I still have the scars on my knees to prove it. There are so many. It’s just the way my life goes. I'm convinced I’m destined to be a comedic tragedy.
What's your favorite type of music?
My musical tastes are… diverse, to say the least. I love old school rock, the kind that makes you want to drive fast with the windows down. I also have a soft spot for classic film scores; all dramatic and beautiful. Oh! And I'm a sucker for Indie pop, the kind that's a little bit quirky and tells a story. Music is all about feeling, isn't it? If a song makes me *feel* something, I'm hooked. If it reminds me of a moment, an emotion, it will quickly climb the list.
